Christmas Time is Here

A guest post from Ed Blonski, Assistant Pastor at St. Matthew and speaker at True Men Ministries.

Christmas time is here
Happiness and cheer
Fun for all that children call
Their favorite time of the year

Christmas 1991 was the first Christmas Nancy and I celebrated as husband and wife. After talking about how we wanted to celebrate Christmas in our new family, one of the things we decided was that we would decorate our Christmas tree with one ornament a year. Each year we would find one special ornament, and only one, and hang it on the tree. It also had to have the year clearly marked on it.

That first was a traditional ornament that depicted a couple in 19th Century garb skating together on a snowy pond with the words, “Our First Christmas Together 1991.”

It didn’t matter that neither one of us skate, nor do we live in the 19th Century (however, I did have a mustache at the time), it was the perfect ornament for our first Christmas together.

The tree that year looked a little goofy with only one ornament on it (plus white lights and a simple garland). But we were looking ahead to the time when the tree would be filled with ornaments as we filled our home with children.

1996 was the sixth ornament for our tree and our first Christmas as parents. Nancy is a great mother, as I knew she would be. So the ornament that year reflected her new role as mother. (You can see R2D2 next to it, that was 2005′s ornament).

Snowflakes in the air
Carols everywhere
Olden times and ancient rhymes
Of love and dreams to share

Our tree now has a diverse collection of ornaments – from footballs to Ralphie with his Red Ryder BB gun.

My favorite is the ornament from 2001. It was our 11th ornament and our house was now full of those children that were just hopes 10 years before.

Sleigh bells in the air
Beauty everywhere
Yuletide by the fireside
And joyful memories there

Our tree now is full with 21 ornaments. The 2011 ornament was picked democratically – but also evidence of a family with three growing boys and one grown boy outnumbering the lady amongst us!.

In our family, Christmas is just about our most favorite time of year. We look forward to the time we get to spend together – playing hockey in the driveway, basketball in the gym, monopoly in the dining room, and baseball on the Wii. We also love the time we get to spend together at church. I’m usually preaching Christmas morning. When we first were married, Nancy had to sit by herself in the pew. Now that the boys are old enough to help with the service, carrying the cross or lighting the candles and taking the offering, she is again usually sitting by herself in the pew.

But we wouldn’t have it any other way. Because we are still all together, sharing memories and making new ones, since Christmastime is here again.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas time is here
We’ll be drawing near
Oh, that we could always see
Such spirit through the year…

Christmastime is Here lyrics by Lee Mendelson

Guest Post from Billy Coffey - Picking Your Poison

This post is from Billy Coffey - author of Snow Day and a new book, Paper Angels. His blog is here.

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image courtesy of photobucket.com

I was fifteen when I took my first dip of snuff behind the dugout of the high school baseball field. It was during the bottom of the third inning, I remember that. And I remember I was due up second and the other team’s pitcher could hum a fastball. He would nod a yes to the catcher and begin a windup so slow it would almost put you to sleep, and then there was a blur from his arm and the ball was on you. It was on you and you knew if you blinked, you’d miss it. I hadn’t missed it the first time, I’d grounded out to third. That was pure luck—truth was, I never saw the ball. I swung at air and just happened to connect.

So my buddy said, “Try a dip. It’ll relax you.” And me, being fifteen and therefore almost completely a man, said yes. Because where I come from, men dip snuff.

I won’t say the habit started because I hit a double into the gap my next time at the plate. And honestly, sunflower seeds seemed to relax me more than Skoal. But I had another one after the game on the ride home—the same buddy who got me dipping also got me listening to Whitesnake and Motley Crue, but that habit, thankfully, has since been broken. I took two more the next day during practice. Then we stopped by the 7-11 on the way home and I bought my own can.

You couldn’t buy tobacco unless you were sixteen by then, but the guy behind the counter seemed more concerned with the sad state of his life than whether I was old enough to dip.

And that’s how it’s been for pretty much the last twenty-four years. Every couple days I’m back down at that very same 7-11 to sustain my habit. The only difference is that now there’s a lady behind the counter.

I come from a long line of tobacco users. Dad’s been chewing tobacco since he was eight years old. Not kidding. I’m not saying it was inevitable that I start too, but I think it’s in my blood. Much like some are born with hankering for whiskey. I will say my Skoal has seen me through my fair share of trouble. Somehow, someway, things are just better handled with a dip in your mouth. I don’t expect you to understand how that is, but it’s the truth.

It took two kids to make me realize how much of a hold tobacco had on my life. You want to be a role model for your children. You want them to understand that while you’re not perfect, you’re always trying to be better. And it was hard for me to tell them to trust in God to see them through when I was really trusting in tobacco to see me through—“Trust in,” I’d say, then I’d spit and finish, “God.”

When your kids ask you why you do the things you do and why those things are so important even if they could kill you one day, you start to think. You start to think long and hard.

So I quit. Did it last week. Six days of nightmares and shakes, ten bags of sunflower seeds, twelve packs of gum, and seventy-nine toothpicks later, I’m still here. Barely, but here. It’s scary. I don’t mind saying that.

But here’s what I’ve learned by talking to people about this—we’re all imprisoned by something. Whether it’s tobacco or alcohol or shopping, food or work or regret, we all stand in some short of shadow. And while that shadow is comfortable and familiar, while it even offers some sort of strength, we’re not meant to dwell in darkness. We were all made for the light.

Why Do They Leave?

Being a pastor in the Church is a joy for me. When asked why I became a pastor, I only half-jokingly reply, "Its the only thing I can do!"

One of the parts of being a pastor, though, is not so much fun. Watching people leave the church. I've seen people leave for a lot of reasons - church is boring, it doesn't meet my needs, the people are not friendly, the pastor is not friendly (that one kicks me in the groin gut every time).

Today I read a blog post that deals with the specific issue of why young poeple leave the church - those age 15 to about 30 years old.

You can read that blog here: (and I strongly encourage you do to so).

After you've done that, would you please post your feelings as a comment about one or more of the reasons that are cited in the article.

Thanks!

Pastor B.

Reason #1 – Churches seem overprotective.

Reason #2 – Teens’ and twentysomethings’ experience of Christianity is shallow.
Reason #3 – Churches come across as antagonistic to science.
Reason #4 – Young Christians’ church experiences related to sexuality are often simplistic, judgmental.
Reason #5 – They wrestle with the exclusive nature of Christianity.
Reason #6 – The church feels unfriendly to those who doubt.

Make A Dent in the Universe

A couple of months ago I re-entered the wonderful world of Junior and Senior High School ministry. Twenty years ago I was a youth ministry in St. Louis. But that was when I wasn't much older than a youth at the time – 25 years old.

Now I’m 46. I’m the age I felt was old when I was in high school.

I suspect that I’m considered old by the high school kids in my church. I know I am to my own kids (one of which is now in high school).

You would think that many things would change in 20 years. And they have. In 1991, the World Wide Web (WWW – sound familiar) had just come online.

However, that year the WWW could only be used on a NeXT Computer.

What a NeXT computer is isn’t nearly as important as who created the NeXT computer.

Steve Jobs.

Yes, the guy who co-founded Apple Computers!

Last week, Steve Jobs died at age 56 – 10 years older than I am – from complications due to pancreatic cancer.

A lot has been written about Steve Jobs, but there are two things that Steve Jobs said that caught my attention and really made me think.

The first one is this:

“I want to put a dent in the universe.”

This made me think about what Steve Jobs did with his life. Yes, he made a boat-load of money. But from what I read and heard about him, that wasn’t the reason he did what he did with his life. His motivation was to make a difference. He had a dream of doing things that went beyond the two feet around him. I get the impression that he didn’t really think of himself in a selfish way. His approach to life was not “what’s in it for me” but rather one of “how can I make a dent in the universe.”

This is a good way to live. But I didn’t think that way when I was in high school. When I was a teenager, I thought only of myself most of the time. Most of the things I did were designed to make me feel good. I did them to have fun and didn’t really think all that much about what other people thought.

I see this in high school kids today. I’d like to tell them what I needed to hear more often when I was their age, that there is more to life than just “me.” But that I also can “make a dent in the universe” through what I do and say.

There’s nothing wrong with having fun and feeling good. But there is so much more for a son or daughter of God. You don’t have to wait till you are older to make a dent in the universe. Look up and look out beyond you.

So a lot of what I do with the youth group today is based on a question, “What are you doing to make an impact in the Kingdom of God?” A corollary to this question is “Is what you are doing bringing glory to God’s name?”

I never gave that much thought when I was their age. I wish I had. Maybe I could have gotten to some very important and impactful things a lot sooner – and could have made an even larger dent in the universe.

The second thing that Steve Jobs once said just floored me.

“I want my kids to know who I am.”

He said this in answer to the question, “Why did you authorize your biography and sit down and do so many candid interviews for it?”

Steve Jobs was afraid that the only way for his kids to know him was to make sure a biography was written about him.

How sad is that?

I want my kids to know who I am. So I spend time with them. Lots of time. I pitch to my sons until my arm feels like it’s going to fall off (then I feed balls into a pitching machine). I sit with them as they fish. I play Wii bowling with them (but not as often as they would like, I suspect). I worship with them daily through devotions and prayer. I eat dinner with my family at least five nights a week.

That’s how I’m making a dent in the universe. I won’t invent some new technology like the World Wide Web or an incredible piece of electronic gadgetry like an iPhone or iPad. I won’t make billions of dollars.

I will make a dent in the universe by loving my kids – and the kids I minister to in our church’s youth group. They won’t need a book – or an ebook – to know who I am.

And I will tell them of the love of Jesus Christ. I will do it by making it a goal that everything I do will be so that God gets the glory and others will know I work in God’s Kingdom.

A Foretaste of the Celebration to Come

Happy birthday, St. Matthew Lutheran Church! 148 years old. That’s pretty amazing!

That’s a reason for us to celebrate – to mark a very special occasion. In the midst of the Civil War, a couple of dozen German-American Lutherans start a church here on the prairie north of what would become known as Lake Zurich.

Speaking of war …

Celebrations are also held to observe great victories. One that comes to mind is the celebration held in New York City when V-E Day was announced – the one with the sailor kissing the nurse.

During the war, the original St. Matthew sanctuary burned down – in 1942. As I thought about that more and more this past week, I began to realize that this event could be used by Satan against  our congregation’s mission and ministry. Satan tried very hard to get the people of St. Matthew to stop what they were doing – making disciples, baptizing, and teaching to observe all that Jesus commands.

But the people of St. Matthew – like the people of the United States as a whole – are not easily defeated.

While St. Matthew Lutheran church was awaiting materials to be made available to re-build the sanctuary after it burned to the ground in 1942, the United States observed first the victory in Europe in May 1945 and then victory over Japan in August of 1945.

Finally in 1949, we celebrated the dedication of the re-built sanctuary. We did so with a worship service that celebrated the greatest victory of all!

The reason St. Matthew is here – the reason all churches exist – is to proclaim the salvation victory won for us by Jesus Christ, the Son of God! We celebrate each week the greatest victory of all - when Jesus Christ defeated death for us.

In fact, it is very important to remember that is why we are here. For those taking sermon notes, here’s the Gospel:

St. Matthew Lutheran Church – here for 148 years – is here to live the victory celebration of our salvation by believing and proclaiming:

o          Jesus’ Birth  - that He was born to be our substitute under the Law

o          Jesus’ Life  - that He lived perfectly to be our righteousness.

o          Jesus’ Death – Through which He gives us the forgiveness of sins.

o          Jesus’ Resurrection  - which assures us that we who believe will also rise bodily on the last day – dead or alive - everlasting life.

o          Jesus’ Ascension –that gives us the promise that He will return to take us to heaven.

This is our message. This is our life.

At one point, Satan was so threatened by this that he tried to use the burning down of our sanctuary to stop us from being a powerful witness of the birth, life, death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus Christ.

Today, Satan uses different – but no less dangerous – tactics. Jesus warns of this in the Parable of the Wedding Feast in Matthew 22.

This parable is about the second coming of Jesus Christ – the Son of the King. Heaven is elsewhere described as “the marriage feast of the Lamb in His kingdom” (Revelation 19:9).

Will you be there? I hope that you accept the invitation of the Lamb. You are invited to the wedding feast. I think we might be surprised at who actually accepts the invitation – I think that’s part of the reason that the parable says that “both bad and good” have been invited. Those we might think do not have any chance of being invited to the wedding might actually be there and surprise us.

The reasons anyone can accept the invitation is that the Holy Spirit has created and sustained faith in their hearts through Word and Sacrament.

But the parable is blunt in telling us who will not be there.

Now, this is going to sound harsh. But that’s because it is. It is the Law. This is God’s warning to you and me. The invitation is limited to this lifetime. Don’t reject it.

All are invited. But some will reject the invitation. Some pay no attention and walk away – they ignore the invitation. Some are too busy at home or with work. Others “shoot the messenger.” The invitation comes and they attack those bringing the invitation. Jesus may have in mind here something He had said before about those who killed the prophets in the past because they didn’t like hearing the Word of the Lord they brought.

It still happens today. Maybe the messenger isn’t killed but they are told in no uncertain terms that the invitation they bring will be rejected.

The invitation is to the wedding feast of the Lamb. This will be “heaven” – yet to come. But for now, we have three words to us as we await the celebration to come. In these three words we have a tantalizing taste of the celebration to come.

The first word is from the very familiar Psalm for today – Psalm 23. This Psalm is encouragement to us. God will take care of us, God will carry us. God will provide an overflowing cup of His goodness to us.

The second word is contentment in Philippians 4. God provides all things – sometimes directly, sometimes through other means and people. Whether worldly rich or poor, being content in any situation reminds us that we can do all things through God who strengthens us.

The third word is action – also from Philippians 4. Put into action – or “practice” as verse 9 says – the things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent and worthy of praise. Do these things as the foretaste of the celebration to come.

So on our birthday, St. Matthew, let’s celebrate with encouragement, contentment, and action in telling the Good News about Jesus to everyone we meet!

Living the Life

There seems to be no question that we are living in times of difficulty. The adverse economy has affected nearly everyone. 

There are many problems in the world that seem to have no solution, at least not one in the near future. Saint Paul’s descriptions of people living in difficult times nearly 2000 years old could have been written about today’s people. 

This list of descriptions is from 2 Timothy 3.

Lovers of self.

Lovers of money.

Proud.

Arrogant.

Abusive.

Disobedient to their parents.

Ungrateful.

Unholy.

Heartless.

Unappeasable.

Slanderous.

Without self-control.

Brutal.

Not loving good.

Treacherous.

Reckless.

Swollen with conceit.

Lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.

Having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power.

You may think that none of the descriptions on this list apply to you. I know that there are times when I’m tempted to think that about myself. But it isn’t true. Which ones on the list strike close to the heart with you? I’ll tell you which one it is for me: “Having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power.”

Oh yes, there are times when I’m arrogant. There are times when I was (and still am) disobedient to my parents. There are times when I am reckless – in that what I say is quickly followed by “I’m just kidding.”

But the one that slays me is “Having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power.” This is when I do not take seriously what it means to be a Christian, to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. And this is devastatingly detrimental. When other people see me doing this, it tells them that I’m only playing at being a Christian, that I don’t take it seriously. And if I don’t take it seriously, then why should they? And if they don’t take it seriously because of me and the way I’m just playing at my faith, then they will not know Jesus. And if they do not know Jesus, then they are lost in their sins.

Because I am paid for what I do as a pastor, there is a great temptation to think of what I do as merely a job. That I do what I do simply because I have to. Because I’m a pastor Ihave to go to church. I have to read the Bible. I have to go to Bible study.

Do you know anyone who shows up for work because they have to? How well to they do their work? How inspiring are they in their work? I worked with a couple of people like that at Target. For the most part, the people I worked with at Target were good people, they were good workers. They did their jobs well and you got a sense that they enjoyed their work. But there were one or two people who were there because they had to be there. They didn’t want to be there. They only did the bare minimum of the job and no more and didn’t really care what the consequences of that were to the overall goals of Target.

I think it is that attitude that Saint Paul is getting at with his phrase, “Having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power.”

But here’s another way that I look at this phrase. Often, I think, people get the idea that if they are doing something “at” church or “for” church that it somehow means they are living the life Christ won for them by His death and resurrection.

But Christ didn’t die and rise again so that we could “do” things for the church or be “at” the church.

Christ died and rose again to give us life (John 10:10). Here’s what Christ has done for me. When I am at the church, I ‘m not working a job, I’m living a life. And this life has consequences – eternal consequences. I really believe there is power in living a godly life and that power comes from God’s Word – Scripture, the Sacred Writings that Saint Paul mentions in 2 Timothy 3 – whether it be preached, read, or inwardly digested through the Sacrament of the Altar.

I want to know more about that power. I want to have more of that power. I want others to know and have more of that power.

That’s why Bible studies are so important to me. I try very hard to have Bible studies that are relevant and interesting. But beyond relevant and interesting, the Bible makes you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. The Scriptures are inspired (breathed out by God) and are profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness.

The Bible will make the man – and woman – of God competent and equip us for every good work.

I Appreciate You, Pastor

I've been a pastor for a little over 16 years. I've told people in the past that I'm a pastor because, 1) I feel I've been called by God to be a pastor and 2) I don't know what else I could do (or would want to do) with my life.

I first served as a pastor in a rather small parish in rural Michigan. A lovely church called Christ Lutheran Church. The people there were very welcoming and the call came with a nice home for my wife and I and our dog Seamus - and a year after we arrived, our first son, Eddie.

After two years there, I received a call to serve as Associate Pastor at a larger church -with a school - in Mayville, Wisconsin. I served under a very experienced Senior Pastor who was soon to retire. It was made clear to me that I would succeed him as Senior Pastor when he retired, and that is what happened two years after I arrived. While there, my wife and I welcomed Kurt and Mark to our family.

After 8 years in Wisconsin, I was called to Southern California and served a similar parish for exactly four years. I was a sole pastor for two years, and a Senior Pastor for two years while in California -with an Associate Pastor of Indonesian Ministry.

A little over a year ago my family and I left California to return to Illinois where I grew up. I was helping out in a local church and within a year was called to be the Assistant Pastor.

I mean no disrespect to the pastors I was privileged to serve with in previous parishes, but for the first time I am serving in a church where I feel that I have a pastor of my own. I was the pastor or on a staff of pastors in previous parishes. But I never really felt that I had a pastor who I could talk with, pray with, and be counseled by, before.

I do now.

Pastor Tim is someone I've known for about 10 years. But now that I am serving in a church with him, I have gotten to know him pretty well.

And I am very glad to call him my pastor.

Pastor Tim prays with me. That's huge. I never realized before just how powerful it is to have a pastor pray with me. I've prayed with people, as their pastor, but I've never prayed with someone who was my pastor (again, no disrespect meant to the pastors I had when I was a young boy and young man).

Pastor Tim also gives me advice. He tells me when I've messed up - in a loving, gentle, but instructive way.

Pastor Tim also teaches me how to be a better man, a better husband, a better father, and a better pastor. He shares with me his own experiences in each of those areas. He gives me "back-up" from God's Word. He administers the Sacrament of Holy Communion and pronounces Holy Absolution when I confess my sins to him.

So, during this month of October - Pastor Appreciation Month - I want my pastor (and you) to know that I appreciate him!

Heavenly Father, we thank you today for your work in creation and the abundant blessings that we have as Your children.

We thank you for the glorious gospel; the gift of your Son Jesus Christ as the one mediator between God and man.

Thank you for the church, the company of the redeemed, and for the local church where believers gather to express their faith and obedience such as we do here at St. Matthew.

Thank you for the gift of pastor, which your Word says you gave to your church "to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ" (Ephesians 4:12, 13).

Thank you for Pastor Tim and his faithfulness to your cause, for the Bible says, "it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful" (1 Corinthians 4:2).

Thank you for his personal commitment to Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savoir and to the Word of God.
Thank you for the love he has for his wife and family demonstrating a stable and healthy family.  For the Scripture says of church leadership, "he must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect" (1 Timothy 3:4).

Thank you for his thoughtful exposition of your Word, as he heeds your call to "Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage-with great patience and careful instruction" (2 Timothy 4:2).

Thank you for his leadership in our church services and the orderly manner in which he leads us, seeking to fulfill the Biblical call that "all things be done decently and in order" (1 Corinthians 14:40).

Thank you for his interest in the flock under his care and the burden that he carries for your people.
Thank you for his wife Deb and her compliment to his leadership and her service and thoughtfulness as well.

May you continue to bestow your richest blessing upon this ministry couple as they seek to fulfill their call amongst the people of St. Matthew and thus bring You glory.

In the powerful name of Jesus Christ I pray, AMEN.

Wasteband of Brothers

I read this on the blog:  Some Wise Guy.

It was a guest post from Sonny Lemmons, who’s blog is Looking Through the Windshield.

Thanks to both Sonny – for writing it – and KC – for posting it.

Episode #23 of the Wise Guy Wednesday series features Sonny Lemmons (no, he’s not a bright citrus fruit).

Sonny is a stay-at-home dad, a writer of stuff, a receiver of grace, and a drinker of coffee. His wife Ashley loves him, but has been tempted to yank his boxer briefs straight up to his ears at times.

Disclaimer: I suggest you put down the coffee mug while you read this.

Wasteband of Brothers

We’ve all been there. We’ve seen it played out in a movie, bore witness during the glory that was middle-school gym class, or we may have been the unfortunate recipient of one ourselves (raises hand).

courtesy of Fox

That’s right: I’m talking about the bane of the existence of every prepubescent boy who was a band geek, A/V club member, or who ever played or talked about Magic: The Gathering while at school.

The wedgie.

That snag-and-tug maneuver that helps ensure high school choirs will always have a tenor section.

What’s interesting to note is that while the majority of physical wedgies may cease once all parties are old enough to have a learner’s permit, the spirit of the wedgie echoes on throughout many of our adult lives.

God knows if you put enough men in a closed environment, we will eventually revert to seventh-grade humor, ridiculing one another, throwing down “Yo momma” jokes – all in jest. Until. Until there comes the time when the waistband gets pulled a little too tight and gets looped over our heart.

I’ve been there and done that. I’ve crossed into that realm of Proverbs 26:18-19 where after offending or hurting someone, you try to cover it by saying “I was only joking.” I didn’t mean what I said. I didn’t mean for that to be as offensive as it came across. I didn’t mean to sound racist, sexist, homophobic, or to do or say something that could hurt you or make you stumble.

And certainly not to grieve the Spirit.

Now, this is not to say that we can’t sit around on the couch cracking wise to one another. But as believers, we are called to something more, something bigger. We are called to maintain a heart of Ephesians 5:4 and not get coarse in the course of our fun.

While many of us might not wish to literally greet one another with a hagios, that term for “holy kiss” found in Romans 16:16 refers to us acting to one another with our kiss (or, the administered wedgie) as being consecrated, as in devotion to service of our God. Kissing in spirit, not in actuality.

We can show the world – and make our moms proud – by demonstrating through our actions that our underwear is clean and holy, set apart.

Have you ever been on the receiving end of a wedgie?
Boxers or briefs? Hanes or Fruit of the Loom?

For more from Sonny checkout his blog or follow him on Twitter.

Guest Post: Christian Dealbreakers

I came across this blog post earlier today and it really caught my attention. I wrote to both the author of the post and the author of the blog it was on and they both said I could repost it here.

So here it is.

It was posted here: 

And was written by the author of the blog A Woman’s Guide to Women: A Blog for Men

*************************************************************************

Episode #22 of the Wise Guy Wednesday series features Sharideth Smith, a humor writer who mostly ghost writes and has a lot work that appears on e-How.

She’s got two kids and a husband.  All of which she likes most of the time.  You can find her ridiculous advice to single men at A Woman’s Guide to Women: A Blog for Men. I guarantee you’ll laugh out loud and maybe even learn a thing or two.

On my blog I have a series of Relationship Deal Breakers. The idea being there are really very few things that cannot be overcome or compromised on when it comes to keeping a relationship in tact. No, loving vs. hating Good ‘N Plenty’s is not one of them. Though that may require some counseling.

The same is true for our faith and denominational boundaries. My being okay with wearing jeans to church does not negate my salvation even if you think a woman should only wear skirts with Keds and bobby socks. Totally not a deal breaker.

Real deal breakers only include how you define who Jesus is, whether you believe the Bible is that actual word of God and how salvation occurs.

There’s an easy test to figure out if you have crested a hill worth dying on. Ask yourself “Does this change who God is or the role of His Son in my life?” If the answer is no, you do not have a deal breaker. Which is exactly what I told my son when he asked what would happen if we found out aliens were real. Score!

Everything else falls into one or more of these 3 categories:

1. Preference

Skirts vs. my evil pants. Hymns vs. CCM. Cathedral vs. meeting in a bar. Pentecostal vs. would rather eat glass than raise my hands in church. These are preferences. We all have our comfort zones and there is very little more personal than how we choose to approach God. The important thing is that we do approach Him.

2. Discourse

Calvinism vs. Arminianism. Drinking vs. T-Totalling. Old Earth vs. Young Earth.

Democrat vs. Republican. These things are up for discussion. Talking good. Fighting bad. We should have open discourse about anything and everything. Iron sharpens iron and all that. We should constantly be increasing in wisdom and a good way to do that is to have open, non-hostile conversation with those who interpret things differently than we do.

3. Grace

Oh boy. I get in trouble sometimes by reminding my fellow believers that the only people Jesus ever got really mad at and condemned were those who professed piety while sitting in arrogant judgment over others. Yeah. Think about that. He didn’t offer the woman at the well judgment and conditions for His approval. He offered her grace. We need to stop sitting in judgment over those who find their way to Christ differently than we do.

If you ask Christians about who has hurt them most, the majority will point the finger at their brothers and sisters in Christ. How profoundly sad.

How do we fix this? Simple. Always choose to err on the side of Love God and Love Others. If those two things are most important to God, then shouldn’t they also be most important to us? Let everything else fall away like chaff.

Have you ever been judged for worshipping in a certain way or holding to a specific doctrine?

Is there someone you have sat in judgment over who you need to ask forgiveness from?